Mr Grey (My First Dom)

In my mid to late 20s I took some time to find myself, and by that I mean have a lot of sex with whomever I wished, guilt-free.  Some would call it a spiral, but I saw it as more of a liberation- the old “have sex like a man” adage, where I took what I wanted and made no apologies.  I made some great connections during that time, and one of them changed my life forever.

Enter Mr. Grey.

In all of my infinite maturity at the time, I had given each of my partners a nickname.  This one receives zero points for originality, but in my defense at this time in my life the 50 Shades books were one of the only references to BDSM I knew outside of the odd PornHub deep dive.  Mr. Grey was a PhD student around my age, and we went on a date one fateful evening.  The date was decent enough that I decided to invite him back to my place.  I would rank the rapport at about a 7/10, but the sex was an 11.  There was a push and pull with him that made me crave more; pinning my arms down as he fucked me, toying with my clit until I begged.  I had had good sex, but this had an unquantifiable element that I hadn’t yet experienced.

As we were laying in the afterglow, he asked me if I had any experience with BDSM.  I told him that it was certainly an element of my porn habits, but that I had never thought to pursue it in real life.  He asked me what I liked about BDSM porn, and I talked about submission- being used, helpless, surrendering control.  My words ignited a sparkle in his eye, and he told me his story.

He’d had experience as a sub earlier in his life, but had found his true calling as a Dom.  He freely admitted that he was still learning the ropes (pun somewhat intended), and that he saw something in me worth investing in.  We talked at length about the ins and outs of a D/s dynamic, and after giving me some homework to do some research of my own he left.

I fell deep into the rabbit hole over the next week, learning all I could about submission- the theory of it, anyway.  The practice was something else entirely.  I worked with Mr. Grey over the next year and a half, pushing boundaries and creating new ones.  I learned about grounding, punishment, obedience, protocol, and so much more.  I credit Mr. Grey with teaching me how to reliably cum with a partner, and how to either supress or have multiple orgasms in a session (he was big into orgasm control).  He also gave me my first tastes of pain, and worked with me to translate them into pleasure.

He eventually left the city to work elsewhere, but by then had set me on one of the most fulfilling and defining paths in my life.  I will share lots of stories with you about what he taught me, and (more tantalizingly) how. I am endlessly grateful to him, and while I still think he deserves a better nickname, Mr. Grey is my origin story.

Read more about Mr. Grey here.